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What do they fear?
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Red

Posted: Jul 6, 2008

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For the example we'll say "she", since it's mostly husbands in here.

Is she afraid of herself? Is she afraid of what others will think? Is she ashamed? Afraid people will think she is as nuts as you? Embarrassed?
What's holds her back? Do you push her too much? Maybe not enough?
What would it take for her to see it's okay?

Rick_42

Posted: Jul 12, 2008

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Good questions, Red. They're all good points to discuss with a reluctant spouse.

Pushing her too much always seems to be a concern but not pushing enough may also be something to consider.
I think it is the way society makes woman feel about themsleves. It is a double standard there. TV, movies, Magazines always are showing off scantly clad woman with skinny perfect bodies. Most woman and in fact most men are not looking like that. society makes it easier for a man to be regular, but they an fairly make woman feel bad if they do not look like they are perfect. I would not want to be a young person today, especially and young girl and have to deal with all of that. i think that contributes greatly to woman being more hesitant to jump into nudism. The nudist envornment is the best place to live because people are so nice and accept you for who you are. Looks, stayus, mean nothing. The person inside matters most. That is how it should be everywhere. the worl would be a much better place.

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bxchuck

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

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It is strictly a body-image issue with my wife. She has some minor eczema which she is embarrassed by, and also one inverted nipple, which she is terrified for anyone to see-- she believes they will think that she is a freak. It took me awhile to get her to be comfortable while naked around me, so other people will clearly be a long-term project.

Ev_Driver

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

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In my case it's an impossibility. For my wife it's a morality issue. She is a devout member of our church and nudity for her is next to adultery so frankly I have given up. In fact when she goes to Utah for a family reunion I am going to hit Glen Eden alone since I now understand that I can do so. It will be my first socially nude experience. If I like it, great. If I don't I will at least be able to say that I at least tried.

Rick_42

Posted: Oct 26, 2008

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With my wife, her reluctance may be partly due to cultural and religious beliefs. She's fine with me being a nudist but not for herself. I think a big factor may be what her peer group would think if they knew. Acceptance by her "community" is vitally important to her.

ZetaNYC

Posted: Jul 17, 2009

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My wife says that for her it's more of a "culural difference" although I see a huge number of Asian woman and men on the beach so while I'm sure that's partially true, I think it's more of a shyness in her own personality. Either way, I'm glad she doesn't have an issue with my preference in beaches!

Eddie

Posted: Aug 14, 2009

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Well guys after nine years I've never gave up... just this summer she visited a resort with me.. Says she don't want to go back, then says it wasn't as bad as she though..lol Married 25 years and for the last year, Now she started sleeping nude.. so never give up....

LD-n-Tn

Posted: Sep 1, 2009

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See my post to, "A question to all"

Verne

Posted: Nov 5, 2009

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Well we started off with a week in Miami, a day at a time at Haulover. the first day it was topless, then the next day it was everything. He biggest thing was she thought there would be open sex and guys hitting on her, but once she found out it wasn't like that, she relaxed and enjoyed it. This year we are going to try out Cypress Cove inn florida. and im looking forward to it.

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FireProf

Posted: Nov 5, 2009

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My situation is a little bit different than having a "spouse that is not a nudist." She is, she calls herself such and is an activate participant to a point. I'll explain...

She enjoys going to the beach, the club, the resorts and vacations always include visiting a nudist venue wherever we are. She's usually nude around the house and in the backyard when we are sunning or using the pool. She'll wear only a shirt when doing some yard work and has showered outside without any worries about neighbors.

She is, by nature, a very private person. She doesn't like or participate in these types of communications (forums, blogs.etc.). She doesn't make friends easily and still...after 36 yrs of being a nudist, has bouts with body image issues.

She's met and loves our circle of nudist friends. She emails, talks on the phone and sends cards to these people all the time...but...she doesn't want to make any more friends...or she's afraid to make friends with people I meet on the internet. Very confusing for a nudist that is SO social and so friendly and likes making friends.

She is also very, very afraid of her friends finding out she's a nudist. There are and have been so many times she's wanted to and has said..."I just need to tell them..once an for all about us." I say ...."great, go for it." She chickens out everytime.

She's so afraid of what they will think of her and that they will not want to be friends anymore. I say..."if that's what happens...they weren't "good" friends in the first place." She agrees but...still afraid to tell them or be a bit more open about it to others.

Derf

Posted: Nov 22, 2009

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My wife has lupus which makes her allergic to sunlight, so she has to keep covered.

Because the lupus makes her conscious about her body, she thinks her body is not the best, she wouldn't like to show it off

Nudony

Posted: Jun 16, 2012

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I know this is an old topic...but since I just joined here, I guess I'll plead the First Amendment! :)

Anyways, Fireprof's post: "She's met and loves our circle of nudist friends. She emails, talks on the phone and sends cards to these people all the time...but...she doesn't want to make any more friends...or she's afraid to make friends with people I meet on the internet. Very confusing for a nudist that is SO social and so friendly and likes making friends" brought my x to mind.

She was very much the same way. Once she found her comfort zone, she rarely ventured outside of it. Within her comfort zone, she was totally nudist. We had some nudist friends she was comfortable with and trusted. Around them she was always happily nude; cooking, laughing and socializing. She'd even volunteer to co-host get-togethers. After she "came out" to her Mom she was also often nude around her, at her house or at ours. A the resort we visited most frequently, where she knew the owners on a first name basis, she'd actually undress in the parking lot and leave her clothes in the car; virtually being nude from the time we arrived to the very last minute before leaving.
But...she had no interest in expanding outside of her comfort zone. She didn't really want to discuss nudism on the internet or anywhere else, didn't want to expand our cirlce of friends, didn't want to try new resorts. If I pushed going outside of our usual routine, she would pout, sit in a corner somewhere with a towel over her legs.

I could be wrong, but I think women are just naturally more private than men. Nudist women are typically going to me more comfortable with a small nudist environment, preferably with people they know and trust.

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FireProf

Posted: Jun 16, 2012

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Nudony... you are absolutely right. For some women, it's a constant struggle, constant fear, constant voices in the back of their minds telling them ... it's not right.

I talked in length with my wife today while sitting on our lounges at the club. This morning, SHE suggested we go to the club and "get naked for the day with other people."

She isn't always willing to be that willing in the social setting. She's more than willing and most times, can't wait to take her clothes off here at home ... but it's not always that way in a public setting.

When we arrived at the club this morning ... she was lifting off her sundress as she was getting out of the car!!! Most times she'll put on her SunPrecautions shirt and walk from the car to the lounge but today ... butt naked all the way to the lounges and ALL day long!

When I asked ... "what gives?" She was willing to open up and say ... "some days are better days then others. Some days I feel good about myself, others I do not. I have body images issues and it's difficult to fight them off some days. When those days hit ... my comfort zone is home, alone or with you and not any place else. I wish I had ALL good days but ... regretably ... I don't and I don't think women have all good days." That is probably true.

My wife also said she is somedays concerned that people are looking and critiquing the way she looks. I think she looks great, she thinks otherwise and we all know that many women suffer from this and this is the reason many females find it difficult to be nudists or even try nudism.

"Everyone looks," I told her. She said ... " I know and today, I don't care if they look but there are days ... I do care and those are the days ... I prefer the only one looking is you." We all have our good days and bad, in everyday life. But ... with nudism, they maybe having a good day at home or in a textile environment but not having a good day with regards to nudism and that is what "we" need to work around.

And from the Prof's lips: "When I have those not so good days ... I need patience and understanding. I've not given up on nudism or who I am ... I'm just off balance and when I regain my balance ... we'll get back to what I like doing and that's getting naked with you everywhere, not just at home."

Can't argue with that! ;)

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jimshedd112

Posted: Jun 17, 2012

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wow!! What great isight into the workings of a woman's mind. While we men generally figure, what the hell, I always look pretty much the same it seems women have an ongoing debate about their appearance and attractiveness.

I know there are days when my non-nudist wife seems more confident of her own apearance. And, early on she tried, I guess, to shame me into covering up at home by reminding me I really wasn't much to look at. Of course, I happily went about clothes-free anyway, not thinking much about my day-to-day appearance.

Jim

Nudony

Posted: Jun 17, 2012

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Oh yeah. To add to the "complexities" of the nudist wife, there is what I call it the "vibe." The vibe is a undefinable (and often irrational) feeling she has about herself, her body and the nudist environment she happens to be in at any given time. And in some cases, it changes like the wind - and for no apparent reason.

When the "nudist vibe" hit my wife, I was usually in for a surprise because it often "came out of nowhere." Like jumping in the car in just a sarong for a nudist trip, and unwrapping it while still in the car, which was completely out of character for her. Or taking a reluctant spouse under her wing, offering her sarong so she could at least try to get comfortable (when most times she only talked to established nudist friends.)
I learned not to question these sudden nudist "outbursts", and just go along with it
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